What does a Dragoon do with all those cookies?
by ncsgirl
Summary: Shana is going to build her own kingdom. That'll teach everyone! Right?
1. Cookies!

Neep! Here are some possible theories on Shana's use of the cookies that she doesn't eat. I just felt like another attempt at humor.  
  
Shana was flying around on her Dragon wings that were afforded her by the Dragoon spirit she stole back from the snot nosed blonde freak that Dart liked better than her. She was in search of cookies.  
  
"What are you doing?" Lavitz asked her as she flew along humming 'Somewhere over the Rainbow'.  
  
"Looking for cookies. Want to help?" She replied.  
  
"Okay. His Majesty kicked me out of the castle." Lavitz replied.  
  
"Why?" Shana asked.  
  
"Because he doesn't like me anymore. He sent me to find a chocolate chip macadania nut cookie, and bring it back still warm with white icing drizzled on top." Lavitz replied.  
  
"And you're going to find that?" she asked.  
  
"I'm going to try."  
  
"Why?" Shana asked again.  
  
"Because it will please his Majesty." Lavitz replied.  
  
"Oh. Dart said he wanted something like that, but I forget what it was, so I'm going to find cookies for my cookie castle!" Lavitz stared at the Dragoon in front of him. She was serious in this project?  
  
"Can I help? His Majesty obviously has sent me on a difficult quest because I'm such a good knight," here he puffed out his chest a little in pride, "And so I will help you build your kingdom because I may find the perfect cookie."  
  
"Yay! Let's go to Lohan!" Shana bounced about cheerfully, then remembered she could fly and so took to the air.  
  
*******************  
  
"Look Lavitz! There's the man who we had to buy all the weird things from!" Shana excitedly bounded over to him, with Lavitz marching along behind.  
  
"Well then, what can I offer you fine folks today?" Asked the aforementioned merchant.  
  
"I'm looking for cookies!" Shana announced proudly. The merchant just stared.  
  
"What is she talking about?" he asked Lavitz.  
  
"Cookies. They're a kind of sweet buiscut made out of... Shana? What are cookies made of?" Lavitz asked her.  
  
"I don't know. I've never had to make them. I get them from my author for being good." Shana said.  
  
"Where does she get them?" he asked.  
  
"Um... a box?" she said hopefully.  
  
"You two had better get going. You're scaring the sane paying customers away." said one of the people that stood at the entrance of Lohan.  
  
"No what are we going to do?" Shana asked after she and Lavitz had accidentally destroyed the town.  
  
Well? This doesn't tie into the other fic. It's just something I decided to write. Lloyd will show up here, and Lavitz will be bashed more. Hooray for Lavitz being so easy to bash!  
  
Lavitz: I heard that!  
  
Karla: I don't care.  
  
Lavitz: I'm leaving!  
  
Karla: Albert!  
  
Albert: You're staying!  
  
Lavitz: Yes your Majesty. 


	2. Lloyd!

Neep! I'm back! Whahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Sors? Do you have a fever? Are you well? Shana fan? Oh well. I like her like this too, so it's okay. Now everyone, get ready! Let's all bash Lavitz!  
  
Shana floated along on her wings, while Lavitz rode a horse he had pinched off a cart in Lohan. Okay, so it wasn't much of a horse, but he did get it off a cart in Lohan. Okay okay! It was a shetland pony that had been on a children's ride, but that doesn't matter does it?  
  
"Wouldn't it be easier to fly?" Shana asked.  
  
"Albert has my Dragoon spirit." Lavitz sniffled and spontaneously burst into tears crying on Shana's shoulder about all the trouble he went through for Albert and then Dart and then he got possessed and then someone thought to use and Angel's Prayer and now he got stuck as a muse to an author he doesn't like, and-  
  
"Okay, enough whining boy! Your problem is you don't want to face reality. You need a good-" Shana then fried the man in front of her with her dragon. Dr. Phil was no more! Mwahahahahahaha!  
  
"He scares me." Lavitz commented as they stepped over the charred corpse. Lavitz had decided it would be easier if he carried the pony, so now the pony was hitching a ride on Lavitz.  
  
"Why are you carrying the pony Lavitz?" Shana asked. She personally thought the pony had more personality than Lavitz, and was gaining more personality herself because I'm actually starting to like her.  
  
"Because I think it'll help. Remember how stupid things seem to always help in a quest?" Lavitz said.  
  
"Ya! We seemed to help didn't we?" She replied, reminiscing about the good times. Being rescued and all that.  
  
"You two are looking for cookies?" A man with silver hair asked. It took a few moments for them to realize who he was.  
  
"Lloyd!" The two explained simultaneously.  
  
"Yes it's me. Now look, do you want cookies?" He asked. He was always irratable when doing jobs for the author.  
  
"You know where to find cookies?" Shana asked, her eyes brightning and a grin crossing her face.  
  
Lavitz charged at Lloyd, not even a dragoon this time, brandishing his spear. Lloyd didn't even bat an eyelash. He did what he would have done if Sony hadn't been so annoying and made him introduce the Dragon Buster.  
  
He ran the stupid man through anyway.  
  
"Lloyd? Do you have an Angel's Prayer for that?" Shana asked. She didn't like Lloyd, and apparently Lavitz didn't either, but the author seemed to think he was okay.  
  
"I think I've got one." He rumaged in his back pack which the author gave him. The pony looked for food in his pouch.  
  
"Aw! She's hungry!" Shana said. "What do ponies eat?"  
  
"Grass usually. Here's your Angel's Prayer." He handed her the glowing orb. She held it over Lavitz and it reacted by spinning around and sparkling then Lavitz began to wake up.  
  
"Dammit! I wanted a male angel!" was the first thing out of his mouth. He saw the blank look on everyone's faces.  
  
"I'm not dead am I?" He asked. They shook their heads. "Oh, uh, oh."  
  
"Dart was right! So, were you and Albert ever really-" Lloyd began to pester him on behalf of the author, whom he spoke for.  
  
"I don't want to say! Shut up and tell us where the cookies are!" Lavitz yelled spooking the pony who trampled him viciously.  
  
"Lloyd, another Angel's Prayer?" Shana asked. She now understood a few things because the author has choosen to give her a little knowledge because otherwise things wouldn't be interesting because there would be a pair of ditzes and that would be no fun. 


	3. The rest of chapter two

I appologize for the last one ending so abruptly. I was uploading and the disclaimer machine arrived and one of my muses must of put it up. Oh well.  
  
A/N: The author wishes to make it clear that she is completely insane. She would also like to say that she is a closet Shana fan.  
  
Disclaimer: This is going to be the start of a very long relationship.  
  
Shana thanked Lloyd for the Angel's Prayer and Lloyd for reasons beyond even the author's knowledge decided to go with them.  
  
"So you want a cookie kingdom? I think I know where to get cookies." Lloyd said. "The author told me that she gets them from something called a 'Super Store' I don't know quite what that is, but it doesn't exist here. We'll have to go."  
  
"How do we get there?" Shana asked.  
  
"We'll ride the pony!" Lavitz exclaimed. Shana and Lloyd just stared.  
  
"How about we open a tear in the space time continuum and crawl out of some one's tv?" Lloyd suggested.  
  
"We could ask His Majesty Albert. He knows everything!" Lavitz exclaimed yet again.  
  
Shana and Lloyd pondered this and then they thought about it and finally they dwelled on it.  
  
"Well?" Lavitz asked. Lloyd shrugged.  
  
"We'll have to sneak you in, since you can't go otherwise." Shana said. She and Lloyd both got an awfully good idea.  
  
Well, there's the rest of chapter two. Normally I'd have fixed the problem, but I don't feel like it. Next we shall see what I have in store for Lavitz.  
  
A/N: About the Shana fan thing, the author has been replaying the game and she feels that Shana is just more feminin than Rose, and that Dart is the truly thick one and the only reason everyone thinks she's a ditz. She may not be able to preform additons, but has anyone ever seen White Silver Dragon? That spell is incredible. 


	4. Chapter 3 which really isn't

Okay, this is finally getting updated! Woohaha! Anyway, I am apparently a Shana fan in case you hadn't heard yet. I sympathize with NoRestForTheWicked. We're both in the same boat.  
  
"Lloyd, I don't think we had the same idea about how I should sneak into the castle." Lavitz complained as they walked through Bale. Lloyd and Shana had managed to dress him up in one of Meru's old dresses. Shana thought Lavitz looked a little to comfortable walking around in it.  
  
"Look, I don't want to strain myself too much by causing everyone not to see you, so now you just look like a girl." Lloyd replied.  
  
"And you have the advantage of being the only complete idiot here." Shana added.  
  
"Wonder why that is..." Lloyd said accidentally.  
  
"Simple," Shana began. "The author likes you, so she's nice to you. I was nice to her while she was writing me as stupid so she started giving me brains and well... she just doesn't seem to like you Lavitz."  
  
"I wish I knew why. She used to." he moaned on about this for quite some time, until his companions left him stranded.  
  
*************************  
  
"...And it must have been that other author she lkies so much who did this!" Lavitz came to his conclusion after well over an hour of pouting and pondering. "I must go and destroy him!"  
  
"Lavitz! We've got a way to get cookies!" Shana called.  
  
"Really?" He asked.  
  
"Apparently Shana's Cookinator (tm Karla) is capable of being a normal oven. Now all we need are the ingredients." Lloyd explained.  
  
"Why the Cookinator?" Lavitz asked.  
  
"Because I have a Cookinator Mach II now." Shana replied. She pulled out a glowing oven with several settings on it.  
  
"What does it do?" the now illfated Lavitz asked.  
  
"This." Shana replied. She pressed 'Muffin' and a beam of light shot out. It hit Lavitz and turned his head into a muffin. Lavitz preceded to run around like a chicken with it's head cut off.  
  
Okay, it's short. We have Sors to thank for the Mach II, much applause for the idea of the muffin setting. Never fear, it still has it's cookie setting. 


	5. Mach III

A/N: I ran into something a bit disheartning. I hate saying things like this, but I kind of have to. To The Matriarch Mavina, if you would kindly tell me how to fix whatever's wrong here, I will do my very best to fix it. I don't mind constructive critism. Please refrain from cursing at me and furthermore, glad you enjoyed all four chapters. Dunno who this 'Me' flamer is, but flaming is rude and I don't do it. I'd of reviewed your stories, except you didn't have any when I looked. Okey dokey?  
  
Okay, my machine is now done. I didn't want to do that. I've got a lot of good readers out there and whoever that is probably isn't reading this anymore. *cheers up again* Shana has been inventing non-stop with Albert, and they have come up with the Mach III. They say there are a few bugs in it (namely because they don't know what it does yet), but it should be ready soon.  
  
Lloyd: How soon? I want a new torture method for LaDitz.  
  
Karla: Not sure. I don't think he was much tortured by Dart over there. *points at Dart who is still acting like a puppy*  
  
A/N: For an explanation go see 'Chicken Small'  
  
Lloyd: Your machine is giving out shameless plugs again.  
  
Karla: *pats machine* Good machine.  
  
"So we need to find the ingredients for cookies?" Lavitz, ever the stater of the obvious, said.  
  
"That's what Lloyd just said." Shana replied.  
  
"Good point." he replied.  
  
"Hey Lavitz, if your head's a muffin, how can you talk?" Lloyd asked.  
  
"He's too stupid to understand that muffins don't talk." Shana whispered to Lloyd. Both had a good laugh over this. Lavitz joined in although he didn't know why.  
  
"Hey I know! We could use the Mach II to turn things into the ingredients we need!" Shana exclaimed.  
  
"It does that?" Lloyd asked.  
  
"That's how it works. I managed to seperate the settings for the various ingredients." she replied.  
  
"Will it make chocolate chip macadania nut with white icing drizzled on top?" Lavitz asked.  
  
"Normal poeple ask if there's a reverse because their head is a muffin..." Lloyd said to apparently himself.  
  
"Hey, while we're here, let's go see my mom!" Lavitz exclaimed.  
  
"Um... You're wearing one of Meru's dresses and you have a muffin for a head..." Shana paused. "Well, I can only say it's an improvement! Let's go."  
  
Neep! I honestly have a plot. Sort of. Anyway, I'll never be discouraged! I do unfortunately have to go back to school soon so that means less updates. Sorry all. 


	6. Lavitz's mom

We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz... That's not what I'm doing is it? Oh yeah! Wow this story gets neglected.  
  
Shana, Lavitz and Lloyd had gone to visist Lavitz's mother, taking a break from their cookie quest.  
  
"Shana dear! How nice of you to visit! Have you brought another sweetheart with you?" Lavitz's nameless mother asked.  
  
"Kind of." She replied. The pony wandered in and Lavitz picked up.  
  
"Aw! Isn't he darling?" Lavitz then began to coodle the pony who tried it's darndest* to escape.  
  
*A/N: See? In Canada we don't swear often.  
  
"Who's this Shana? A friend of yours?" Lavitz's mother asked.  
  
"That's Lavitz." She said.  
  
"You said you wouldn't tell!" Lavitz whined. The pony took advantage of that and escaped Lavitz hiding behind the author's agent Lloyd.  
  
"Lavitz! Dear me what have you done to yourself?! Come on now, well get you straightened up right away!" With that Lavitz's mother dragged him out of the room by the ear and into the tub. She forcibly washed and dressed him, as one would a five year old and then sent him to his room ignoring his protests of wanting to find a white chocolate chip macadaina nut cookie with white icing drizzled on top and still warm.  
  
"That was amusing to say the least Mrs. Slambert." Lloyd commented.  
  
"Well he's going to have to grow up someday. Now about his head being a muffin..." she began.  
  
"Reversible. I can change him back if you-" Shana began.  
  
"Oh no dear, that's quite alright. He doesn't seem to notice, so I'm sure he's alright." she replied quickly.  
  
"Can we borrow your kitchen?" Lloyd asked having been struck by a literal bolt of inspiration.  
  
"Of course dears! Why I'll even help you out." Lavitz's mother replied.  
  
*gasp* I know it's been sorely neglected. Really it has been. I'm sorry. I started out grounded and then school started and I got all my advanced courses together and first. Eep! 


End file.
